I choose C

b) Listen to the vibes, i.e., figure out what provokes her to misbehave in the first place -- everyone's ignoring her? she's bored? -- and redirect before she does.

E) I think that the parents (Both mother and father) need to ask Abby why she's upset. Then they need to explain why she got scolded. If she still wants to pout and throw a tantrum they need to sit her in the corner and again explain to her why she is in the corner. If she tries to leave the corner the need to put her back. Then after a few minutes ask her why she is in the corner and check her response. If she seems remorseful for having misbehaved then do something fun with her. But if she still doesn't understand explain it again and still do something relatively fun. The idea isn't that she sit in the corner for ever and a day. The idea is that she will learn to understand why she can't throw a tantrum when scolded. They have to show her now that her behavior is unacceptable because she is now developing her personality and so far she seems to steam roll right over the parents.

While most professionals would say ignore Abby and walk out of the room after you've checked for her safety, a 5-year-old will outsmart this method. Abby may have issues under the surface that need to be addressed, but the bottom line is that she is being disresepctful and disobedient. I would resort to a time-out technique EACH time there is misbehavior. When she refuses to eat food, I would excuse her from the table with an empty stomach for the remainder of the day/night. The key is consistency. I am in favor of spanking, as well, when the behavior merits a swat. These days, many people are not, but I have seem a spanking at the beginning of the day change the course of the entire day for the better. A five-year-old out of control will only get worse unless some harsher action is taking place.

I read the story above.

I think that child needs some

serious time out....

Parents ragain the control in your

house.

My thoughts are that a variation of a) is the best strategy. Getting control via the establishment of behavioral boundaries should be the goal. This is in the best interest of the child. Avoid getting angry and don't speak to the child in a stern tone but be forceful making it clear what will happen if the undesirable behavior continues. You should communicate that the choice to pout and/or act up is the child's. The consequences of pouting and acting up and not immediately responding to the above statement by stopping the behavior should be to place the child into timeout for about a minute for each year of age - not more and the child should be returned to the same setting to give them another chance to choose their behavior. If they repeat their pouting or acting up, patiently repeat the timeout, never showing anger or acting irritated but explaining the reason for the subsequent timeout. Simply follow the rules you've established. The child will learn that the way to win the game is to avoid being placed into timeout and in the process they'll learn to avoid behaving in an undesirable manner.

I feel Abby should get a 5-minute timed out on the stairs steps and set a timer so she can see it. If she does not cooperate tell her if she wants to get up and play she needs to sit there (quietly) until the timer goes off. After the timer goes off she needs to go over to her father and apologize and finish eating her dinner. Do not make her eat her carrots---she might not like them...Father should call the person back since it is dinner time. He should take this time to give Abby a structured atmosphere of family time at dinner.

Ignore it.
My sister did this when we were growing up. You ignore it long enough and she'll realize she's not getting the attention for misbehaving. Also, praise and give attention when she does something good or NOT misbehaving. She's 5? She knows the difference. STICK TO YOUR GUNS. Don't just try it for a week. You have to keep it up and stick with it. Don't back down - she won't.

e) I have been a nanny for about 2 and a half years. The little boy that I watch does the same thing with his parents. The tinkg is, he doesn't do that with me. He is very smart and knows what he can and cant get away with. From my obsevations he gets away with lots more with his parents than he ever does with me. I think that this girl's parents need to just set rules and work together by BOTH sticking to them and not giving in. At first Abby may appear very upseat and may say things she doesn't mean, but after a few times of letting her know who is boss, she will realize that her behavior is not okay.

Answer a is the most effective stratagy. You can't stop the behavior once its started however you can change the location. ie her bedroom out of earshot. Tantrums require an audience. For more information regarding this and other situations that our precious angles may attempt I HIGHLY recommend the books Parenting with love and logic by Jim Fay. There are three that I know of for different age groups and Mr. Fay coauthors with others for each. Good luck and keep smiling. BB

As a Nanny, I can sympathize. Although all the above suggestions are good, I think that there are no "absolutes". I think every child is unique with different needs and personalities. What works for one child, might not work for another. Try finding out what the child is "needing". Whether it be attention; one on one time, a firm action (time out or off to bed?..ect) They may just want some quality time with you, need to burn off some excessive energy or a frequent word of praise. You may try giving them a choice. If you are set on getting your way, let them know that if they continue to behave in such a manner that you will have to chastize them in whatever fashion you choose, but it is ultimately THEIR choice.

I think that Both A and C are good suggestions

I think abby just wants attention maybe since her little brother has come in the picture she felt like she is not the only child and still doesn't want to adjust. you have to treat each situation differently like the carrots find a food that she likes maybe even desert and tell her she can have it when she eats a her carrots. just remember your the parent not her don't let her control you stand firm but don't yell at her unless it's something really bad like a key in socket or something. she is just testing you to see what if anything she can still get away with. Punish her for the littler things with time out but tell her she has to read a book so she is still doing something constuctive and it will help her learn. somethings do still deserve a spanking but to me that is the parents job not the nanny's

I would go with C which also includes B. Children need postive re enforcement mixed with respect and love

Children are very smart nowadays. They wanted to be part of what the Parents are doing. I would believe if we were to treat our children as part of the family, eg. share with them our feeling and things that we are working on, and so on. It would help. They just wanted recognisation. Even though Abby is only 5. The Parents should have given her a choice to choose. Carrot or something else.

There was nothing wrong with not eating carrot. If she doesn't like it, it doesn't mean she won't like it in future. If the Parents kept on insisting on eating carrot in each meals. It would make it worse. She might eventually hate it for the rest of her life.

a) Ignore Abby's pouts and her tantrums as well. It won't hurt her to cry it out in her room, and she'll probably go there without being sent.

i think abby's parents should conteplate for a while, sit back, pause and try to asses abby's behavior. For some people they wil just simply ignore it, for they will say it is just a tantrums. however what had abby's acted could be corrected or tamed because as what u have said it is unacceptable behavior.
As early as she can be corrected the better.... as one of the filipino national heroes said "the children is the hope of the motherland" . It simply means that the kind of society we have in the future is dependent on the kind of the up bringings the parents are doing to their children now.
Abby's parents may/should find time to be with their daughter; play with her; talk to her... any topic that can catch her interest or even dream with her while she is making her dreams in these sense she may feel that she is important ... more than important than he luxurious thing u ARE PROVIDING HER.
i do understand that both parents are busy and working to hard... don't u think that abby needs ur little time . the little time you are spending with her as long as it is "quality time" is the best way to fill-in the communication gap that you are creating brought by your hectic work schedules
the feeling of being important and being love by the parents make her a secure person... eventually... a person who can share too much loe to others.....

i have 3 children. my brother has 2 children, they are a total 5 children. these five are mischievous but until now i didn't see mischief like this. The parents should have given her a choice.

hello
I have one question about my sister whose age is 12 years old. The only problem that we face with her is that she doesnt respect the persons older than her.
How can I help her to respect persons and especially me and my mother. She is unrespectfull about us
waiting for ur response

HELLO, I HAVE A QUESTION? MY DAUGHTER IS 9 MONTHS OLD, AND I'M HAVING A VERY DIFFICULT TIME WEANING HER OFF HER BOTTLE. IT IS HER LIFE, AND CRIES UNCONTROLABLY. MY MAIN CONCERN IS THAT SHE NEEDS HER BOTTLE TO GO TO SLEEP,AND IF SHE DOESN'T SHE WILL CRY FOR A VERY LONG TIME. AND I KNOW THAT IS NOT ESPECIALLY GOOD FOR HER TEETH.
I NEED ADVICE.

THANK YOU,

CONCERNED PARENT

Any thoughts for this parent? Enter them here and we will both post them and email them to this concerned parent!

At a young age Abby should have been told and shown discipline (without giving in). Time out chair works well, bringing her to a room where she's told she can have it out in there and when she's finished she may come out. Certain standards should be followed, and followed on a regular bases. If taught young, manners , discipline, respects for others.....things do fall into place. Children need to be taught boundaries are there at all times!

I feel for abby and her parents,cause i have a sister that has 2 kids, a little girl that is 6 and a boy that is 5, but they just don't act their age. if the girl doesn't get her way she tells her mama she doesn't have to listen to her, she tells her mama to shut up, she's always fighting with her little brother. i know dad's not in the picture a lot of times and when he is he's always getting onto them. he lives with another girl and i told my sis that was her problem. well i dont know any more i just know she's wearing herself out trying to get on the right track with her kids. i just don't know if she even knows how to make her kids respect her for mom. please help my sis thank you

I choose C. Why? Because children need to know that life can be fun and full of games, if directed in a healthy and challenging way. For instance, talking ahead of time prepares them for dinner (in this case) and expectations, which children love to know about. Like adults children love to know where they stand. Isn't that reasonable?

child need an attention for parents.I think parents has to give time for the kids..For playing them and time for eating,you should have trick for them.