EDITOR'S POST
Self-Control for You AND Your Child!
A variation on Time Out, Self-Quieting emphasizes thoughtfulness. It focuses on thinking a problem through in an environment that is serene, personalized, and free of stress and conflict.
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Posted by Mary | Read and Post Comments (0)Time Out IS Stress Management!
Time Out as a means of changing children's behavior should never be used to punish, as in "Go to your room!" -- that's not what it's meant to do and won't work anyway. Used as punishment, Time Out is a power trip for adults that humiliates children and leaves adults thinking, "What am I doing wrong?" as the same misbehavior recurs and recurs.
Time Out is of course modeled on sports, where it provides a breathing spell, a break. When a coach calls, "Time out!" he's saying, "We need a moment to think this through."
Time out should create that same kind of breathing space for children, not to mention adults so frustrated by the child's actions that they can't think what else to do.…
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Posted by Mary | Read and Post Comments (0)The Freedom of Wheels! Trike to Bike Part 2
Every child handles independence differently, but every child reaches for it by testing both himself and those around him. It’s a process. In contrast, adults see independence as a product, the result of responsibility. In other words, a responsible child earns independence by honoring stated bounds.
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How NOT to Fight with Your Teen
Almost daily, Cassie, who is twelve going on 40, challenges me in so many ways. Sometimes the challenge is intellectual, spurring debate on issues or ideas, which we both love. Sometimes, however, the challenge is aimed directly at her parents' authority, or at mine. And occasionally she does things that seem to have no purpose but to wound. …Working with such adolescents -- probably with any adolescent -- is a real challenge: they are still children, who need us to guide them, to set limits and ensure their safety. A nanny may become more their friend or confidante, but they also need to know that she remains a partner to their parents.
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Posted by Mary | Read and Post Comments (0)EDITOR'S POST
Turkey Time Kid Books
When my grandchildren – my grands – come to visit I take an advance trip to the library to stock up on reading adventures for them and for myself (I need to enjoy the books as much as they do). To start with, each book has to meet my criteria, so I search as many shelves as needed to yield a good bunch. This time, with my grands at ages is 4+ (Tony) and nearly 7 (Abby), I looked for picture books about…
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Kids & the Quarters of the States?
I hate collecting, and I'm not sure how many kids like it, either. I never liked stamps, didn’t collect dolls… Nevertheless, collecting the quarters of the states has hooked me and given me an idea for my granddaughter. They're fun to collect! It seems so natural,…takes no special effort,…it’s democratic: everyone has access to quarters.… I started collecting for my own pleasure, but then what would I do with my collection? That brought me here, to child development and an idea for nannies.
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Are In-Laws Disposable??
We practical-minded Americans learn early to throw away what we don’t need today; if we need it tomorrow, we can always buy a new one. This rule seems to go for people as much as for things. Mom, Dad and the kids are the only inviolable unit for as long as children depend on us to take care of them. However it does evolve as they mature. Teens learn to shut parents out of what they consider private decisions – e.g., sex, drinking and drugs. Many adolescents wait to complete the break by getting married to start a new family of their own – hoping that one can shed the habits of one’s old family so that the new family is genuinely happier. But in truth, everyone loses out, not only do families need each other, but grandchildren especially need grandparents. And vice-versa.
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